Today marks the 4th anniversary of Julian's passing. The day he died, the day was gray and gloomy and it even briefly rained. Every February 25th after has been the same. Today is no different. The memory I have of the day he died is still so vivd. Some days I want to remember every detail and on other days I would rather forget. We were by his side when he took his last breath and nothing in the world can prepare you for the moment you know your child's life on this earth is over. He died peacefully, in his sleep. It was anguishing for Juan to hold back from doing CPR and let him go.
I know that I will see him again, but having that knowledge doesn't make me miss him any less. I find great comfort knowing that he is no longer in any physical pain and that his suffering in this life is over. For 12 years and 8 months we were privileged to have a special spirit be a part of our lives. Throughout his whole life we were ever thankful to get to have him yet another day. And on this day I am thankful to know he is still my son and I'm still his mommy. He was well loved by our whole family and is greatly missed. Today my tears flow freely as I remember his death, and I know I will have tears of joy as I remember his life and how I cannot possibly imagine how happy he is in the kingdom of our Heavenly Father. 
He is the reason his daddy is a nurse and future nurse practitioner.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
It's always gray on this day...
Posted by Jane at 8:50 AM
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2 comments:
Tears are streaming down my face. I don't know how it feels like to lose a child, but I can only imagine the sadness and emptiness you all feel. I was looking thru old photos and came across one of the 3 of you in Aviano. When we came to visit you after he was born.
((((((HUGS)))))))
Love ya!
I can't even begin to know how you must feel today. I am so sorry for your loss and the pain this day must bring each year. You are in my prayers.
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